[Subtitles by danielsangeo]
I can't die here. I'll get
hungry.
I'll wander around some more and
if it gets really bad,
I'll use one of those grenades
to blow a hole in the building.
It'll take out this vent, at
least.
I'm above the concrete corridor.
That clears things up.
This sucks! An alligator could
bite through this.
I wonder if I bought a baby
alligator and fed it and gave it
water,
how long could it survive in
these air ducts.
That would be a good experiment.
I'll try that at the next place
I work at.
Guess I'll go this way...
Uh-oh! Blood. Better get ready.
SCIENTIST: so much for the
government.
Wuh! How did you get in here?!
SCIENTIST: Their idea of
containment is to kill everyone
associated with the project.
SCIENTIST: Judging from your
hazard suit
What...?
SCIENTIST: you were part of what
went wrong.
What the hell is that supposed
to mean?
SCIENTIST: Now, look. If anyone
can end this catastrophe,
SCIENTIST: it's the Science Team
in the Lambda Complex
SCIENTIST: at the opposite end
of the base.
SCIENTIST: With the transit
system out, I couldn't tell you
how to get there.
SCIENTIST: But, there's an old
decommissioned rail system
SCIENTIST: somewhere through
here.
I don't care about any of this.
SCIENTIST: If you can make it
through the rocket test labs,
SCIENTIST: you might be able to
worm your way through the old
tunnels
SCIENTIST: to track down what is
left of the Lambda Team.
SCIENTIST: You can trust them.
You can trust all of us.
I don't trust you at all.
You appeared here like some
magical genie out of a lamp.
SCIENTIST: I hear something!
You're just like everyone else
here.
And where did that security
guard go?
He's off playing with that alien
in this giant funhouse of a
ventilation system.
At least this shotgun won't
deceive me.
It's filled with pellets, not
lies.
SCIENTIST: Do you know who ate
all the doughnuts?
Do you know if leptons are
really compound particles?
[button beeps]
Friggin' doughnuts...
Oh. This must be what that guy
was screaming about.
He would've wanted me to press
that button.
Hey, you're not really a genie,
are you?
You're not dressed like one.
I asked because earlier I wished
for a shotgun and now I have a
shotgun.
But if that was one of my three
wishes, I don't want to waste--
[shotgun blast]
God! Sorry! Sorry...
Well, I can forget about my
other two wishes now.
I'm never going to own a water
park.
I don't think he was a genie
anyway.
[bullsquid spitting]
Wood is not bullet proof.
[bullsquid spitting, shotgun
blasts]
[bullsquid spitting]
Yeah.
[bullsquid spitting]
See, the quality of my life
[bullsquid spitting]
is going straight up now that I
have
[bullsquid spitting]
a shotgun.
[bullsquid spitting]
I knew this would happen.
[bullsquid spitting]
What the hell is that noise?
[bullsquid spitting]
It sounds like somebody is
frying bacon
[bullsquid spitting]
and smacking their head against
the pan.
[bullsquid spitting]
Will you cut that out?
[bullsquid spitting]
Oh, it's not you.
[bullsquid spitting]
It's you!
[bullsquid spitting]
But, you're closer.
[bullsquid spitting]
Nope.
[bullsquid spitting]
Cthulhu dog...
[bullsquid spitting]
Y'know, Cthulhu is supposed to
be really big.
[bullsquid spitting]
Frankly, I'm quite disappointed.
So, what was that guy saying was
happening?
That this is a military coverup?
Does he realize how impractical
that would be?
We must hire almost a thousand
people.
You can't track down every
single--
We've got aliens popping up out
of nowhere.
Think people won't notice that?
What are they going to do, say
they're all mutant prairie dogs?
Shoot everyone in New Mexico?
Well, I'll take one more.
Whoa! That is a lot of
explosives.
And that is, what, an oxygen
tank?
Boy, if I dropped a grenade
here,
I might be able to make my own
exit out of this building.
But, I'd probably just die,
so...
[clicking sound, klaxons sound]
[klaxons sound]
So, what did that do?
[klaxons sound]
Beep beep beep.
[klaxons sound]
It's the same old story.
[klaxons sound]
Oh no. Not down again.
Well, I like how at least the
lights are red.
It's letting me know ahead of
time I'm descending into Hell.
This whole facility's designed
to keep me down.
The building better not start
dropping facehuggers on me
again;
that was really uncalled for
last time.
Whoa! This one drops fast!
I bet if I jumped now, I'd break
my legs landing trying to catch
up with it.
When I build a house, I want an
elevator just like this.
The servants can use the stairs.
You're not worthy and it's
better you learned your place in
life.
What is this, a train track?
God, why does this always
happen?
Whenever I'm having a good time,
somebody has to go out of their
way to ruin it!
This is the same crap conductors
had to go through in the 1800s!
I understand I have to fight for
what's mine, but why is it ALL
THE TIME?!
[alarm buzzes]
Stop beeping at me!
[alarm buzzes]
This is all your fault!
[alarm buzzes]
You're a bunch of Mexican
jumping beans!
[alarm buzzes]
Beep beep beep beep beep beep
beep beep
[alarm buzzes]
beep beep beep beep beep beep
beep beep
[alarm buzzes]
beep beep beep beep beep--
Yeah, I'm going to go crazy
doing that.
This must be why the railway
industry died off.
They would always crash into
ponds of green...
[Geiger counter clicks]
What?
[Geiger counter clicks]
Ah, a radioactive spill.
[Geiger counter clicks]
Part of me wants to believe
we're not
[Geiger counter clicks]
THIS criminally incompetent,
[Geiger counter clicks]
but I know better.
[Geiger counter clicks]
Oh, man, listen to that...
[Geiger counter clicks]
I don't want to go this way...
[Geiger counter clicks]
I better get a checkup after
this...